Monday, February 15, 2010

Some Thoughts

Four months after I returned from Brazil wrote some feelings and thoughts. This was the result.

I wanted to write some thoughts I'm having. It's been almost four months since I've come back to the United States from Brazil and I do not know how to describe my situation. So many things happened. It seems sometimes, that I'm forgetting everything about Brazil. I am worried about that, I don't want to forget everything, especially not my mission. I ask myself sometimes, how can I forget such a great experience? I was in a place so different than here. I miss it. I miss everything. I miss Ilhéus, Brumado, Vitória da Conquista, Salavdor, Bahia in general. I was in a place so different and I'm forgetting everything now. How?

It seems that all this happened a long time ago. But it was not so, it was only a few months ago. Maybe, it seems so because I've grown accustomed to life here. I was someone different there. I'm not the same person now. I lost some of the attributes. Perhaps the answer is that my focus is on different places. I look in the mirror and see someone different, I see a person in normal clothes. I don't see anyone who was dressed in white shirt and a black name tag.

The other day I found some souvenirs. I thought about the different places where I worked and I miss it all greatly. I don't know how to explain it completely.

I didn't want to come to Brazil. I had times when I did not want to stay. But I did, and it was worth it all. I don't know when I can come back, but it won't be the same thing. It was a unique experience and wouldn't trade it for anything.

I need to find a way to preserve these memories. It's hard when you have many distractions in your life. I never thought I would feel this way. Nobody said it would be easy, nobody said it would be so hard. Now I want more time there. More time to see life and the people. More time to make friends and talk. More time to see the cities. That time is gone and it's never coming back.

Now Brazil represents more than I thought, it has become a part of my life. How can I forget? The mind is weak, and also powerful. Even if you have the power to forget, you have the power to remember. I still have hope that I'll be able to remember it all one day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i actually adore your own writing style, very useful,
don't quit and keep writing because it just simply very well worth to follow it.
looking forward to view far more of your writing, have a great day ;)